Every November Canadians remember. Each year I lovingly pull out a photo of my Grandfather, and pause to reflect on what he and so many others sacrificed for our freedom. Last year, in the chaos of losing my mom and uncle, the day slipped past me. This year, though the loss is still fresh, the chaos has subsided, and I find myself in a place of remembrance once again.
This is the first year that Madeleine has begun to understand the meaning of November 11. Her kindergarten classroom had a veteran join them yesterday. I was really curious to follow-up with Maddy, to see what the veteran had shared, what she had absorbed, to answer any questions she had lingering. It took me by surprise when I asked Maddy, to find that she was so upset about Remembrance Day, that she couldn’t really talk about it. She started shouting at me, and ended with, “You know that they’re not alive anymore!”
My heart felt so heavy for her, that at four years of age, the reality of death was so real for her.
I spent some time reflecting on what death means for Maddy. How will experiencing a sudden death change her? At four, Maddy knows that death leads to chaos, sadness, anger, anxiety…. I could go on. How will that shape her? Perhaps this experience will increase her empathy towards others, make her more forgiving and accepting of others. Perhaps she will cherish the love and time that so many friends and family share with her in a different way than other young kids. How will this loss change her understanding of Remembrance Day?
It hadn’t crossed my mind that the realness of death that is already part of her world would help her to be deeply grateful to those Canadians who willingly gave up so much, so that we could enjoy the freedoms we have today. Yes, at this age, it is hard for her to wrap her head around, and presents itself as anger and confusion. But as she matures, and is able to process those feelings, I think that her understanding will be deep. She will hear stories of her Great Grandfather, and understand his sacrifice, the sacrifice of so many, and their families. She will know the importance, deep in her soul.